Your First Step Toward a Thriving Marriage

You are reading this because you want the most important earthly relationship to be thriving not merely surviving.  Over the years I have observed the following statistics to be fairly true; about 10% of marriages are in crisis and may not survive; about 80% are in survival mode, they are roommates and or parents but no longer crazy about one another; and only about 10% are truly thriving, those couples have the marriage most people really want for themselves.   Which of these 3 categories would you say your marriage is in?  What would your spouse say?  Is it the same?  Why don't you take a courageous step and ask instead of guess?  Have a heart to heart conversation about the most important earthly relationship you have.

  A GREAT BIG part of reviving a marriage is courage!  Most couples don't want to rock the boat, so month after month, year after year nothing changes or significantly gets better and so your coast, you settle, you endure, you barely get by.  The truth is this is NOT what you signed up for, it's not the idea you had in your minds when you took the plunge, popped the question or said yes to the proposal!! It's just not where you thought you'd end up, you promised "we will be different" but here you are!

Proverbs 29:18 basically says that without a vision, people perish.  Most couples have no vision for their marriage, and that's why most marriages perish.  But that's not you or you wouldn't have read this far or looked at this blog. Congrats!!  Twice a month we will publish a post that will give you practical ideas you can choose to use to turn your marriage into that 10% of marriages that thrive.  I must tell you that you didn't get in the place your marriage is in yesterday, and you will not get where you want to be tomorrow!  But..."Small steps done consistently over time will produce big change."  Believe it, it's true.

The first step involves asking God, yourself and your spouse what it looks like to have a Thriving Marriage.  One of Stephen Covey's 7 Habits is to "Think with the end in mind."  Here is your first exercise, seek God to give you both a vision, dream about what it would be like at your 50th Anniversary with people gathered around you and they are paying tribute about what they love about your marriage.  What would you love to hear them say?  That's what you need to write down!!!  Once you have that down on paper, start working backwards as to how you are going to actually hear those words.  Begin putting it into action!!

I recommend doing this together, not separately. I know, you may be saying, "but my spouse would never do this"  Actually, I find most couples think this but most likely your spouse knows your marriage is surviving too and truly wants a thriving marriage as well.  You both need to agree without placing blame,  agree that you are not in the marriage you want, but you want a better marriage with them.  Often people divorce and think their spouse was the problem.  Rarely is that true.  Take ownership of the things you have done or not done to place your marriage in the condition it is right now, confess it and work together on change.  Today is a new day and you can take steps together! Lastly, one thing I say often that is so true is this, 

If you want your marriage to work then you are going to have to work at your marriage.   Instead of fighting in your marriage, make the effort to fight FOR your marriage.

It's so worth the effort and time and investment!!!

Please feel free to comment, give questions and we will take time to answer each one.  Together, we are better.