Hope and Hopelessness in your Marriage/Parenting.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how powerful it is to have hope in my life and the others I get to sit with whether in counseling or mentoring.  Just as powerful as hope is, so is hopelessness. When you have hope you have so much, and when you are feeling hopeless it feels like nothing is ever going to change. Instead, giving up and giving in seem like the best we can do.  When I have been out in the wilderness and my water supply is going really low, or the wood I've collected is too wet to light a fire, I can easily lose hope.  Of course the opposite is true, when I do find fresh water or can light a fire to stay warm I feel so much better.  Often when we are in a season of feeling hopeless, so many of us pull away from others and go into hiding.  It's dark and so very hard to keep moving on.


For husbands and wives, fathers and mothers we know the feeling that hope and hopelessness can bring.  In a marriage where one of you is trying and the other is dis-engaged, this can feel hopeless.  That's the way it is when our kids aren't turning out the way we want them to. We dis-engage, stop trying to change behaviors and throw our hands up in despair and just go about doing the best we can in the areas we think we have control over.  In either case, our deep seated fears can cause us to try and control situations and people for the outcome we want, but as is the case most of the time, we really don't have control, things go out of control and of course that sends things even further behind.

So where does your hope come from?  Is anything in our lives ever going to fully arrive, be right in place?  If it does, it's fleeting, short-lived or never really comes.  Yes, there are moments when all seems right but honestly this world will never satisfy us and no spouse or child, job or church can either.

"I lift my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth, He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."  Psalm 121:1-5

God is our hope, that's it!  I am not saying don't have hopes and dreams, but don't count on them either.  Who is more faithful than God?  I love Romans 15:13

"May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

In this verse God clearly is hope, will fill us with joy and peace and we shall overflow with hope.  What an amazing promise.  He even lets us know it's NOT ABOUT TRYING HARDER BUT TRUSTING MORE.  Who doesn't need more hope, joy and peace?  I DO!!!

Can I ask you to consider doing a couple things?

1. Look to God for your hope it's better than trying to create/sustain hope when you really aren't in control.

2. Tell God the deep longings of your heart - over and over and don't stop.

3. Tell someone you can trust and who wants the best for you what you are longing for. Do this on a consistent basis you can both agree to.

4. For sure tell your spouse/children what you long for, but be careful not to use it for manipulation.

God is our hope and help, an ever present help in times of trouble.  When we get real and honest with Him, really honest, the best thing to happen is a closer relationship with the only one who is truly faithful, accepting and un-conditional in His love for you.  Go to Him, pour out your heart to Him, He cares, He knows and He wants you to let Him know your burdens.  He will carry them, wait on Him, He is faithful!