Dad's, how fast would you say the pace of life is for you right now? I believe you are like most men in that you are doing everything you can to keep up, and if truth were truly told, you would admit, you are surviving, but barely. There just isn't enough of you to go around in your job, your marriage and the time you need to give to your children. Another year goes by and you live with regret, stuff it as deeply as you can and shuffle along with this low grade ache you just don't want to deal with, so you don't. It's too hard. The importance of being able to think and plan beyond the here and now is so important versus living in the details of today. It's a balancing act frankly and most of us struggle with. Your job takes the biggest part of your day, focus and energy, and in order to be a good provider and make a big deal of Jesus where you work, you need to. Than there is marriage, being a Dad, your other relationships (family, friends) and hobbies, there is little time or energy left for anything or anyone else is there?
Question - How do you treat, honor, protect, respect and admire your wife? What would she say?
Question - Will your kids determine how they will treat or be treated by their spouse by how you treat yours? How confident are you that you will like what they have picked up from you?
Question - Does your wife get treated by you the way she truly desires? Have you even discussed what those desires are?
The other day I had just finished counseling with a couple and as we all walked out to the parking lot I noticed they both got into the car at the same time. Big miss!!! I want to do my best to open Karyn's door every time. Any door! She should expect and want to be honored in this simple way. She is easily capable of opening her own door and it takes more time to get where we are going by opening her door first, walking around the car and then getting in my door. But....what's the best thing? Are there other things we husbands can do in treating our wife with love, respect, honor and having her feel special? Lots of them. Make a list together. It's a lost art and I am afraid that kids are picking up the wrong things by watching their Dad not doing what could/should be done.
Here is where it plays out, one day your daughter will have a significant other, this guy will be sweeping your daughter off of her feet and you will land in one of two places with this initially.
1. He will treat her as good if not better than you do your wife.
2. He will not treat her with honor and you will notice.
3. What you do NOW in modeling the right thinks matters for the present and the FUTURE!
The same can be said if you have a son, he will pick up how you treat his Mom and will most likely treat his sweetie the same way. How would you feel?, As Dad's we know we'll never get it completely right, but WE DO WANT TO LEAVE A LEGACY and this is one great way to do so.
Treat your wife the way she desires (and a little bit more) she may not even know how to be treated because her Dad didn't do a good job with her Mom. But, she knows, she watches movies and TV shows and see's the right and wrong ways to be treated. Go the extra and watch out! Great things will happen, and IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!! If you already know you've not done well, confess it, admit it, and ask her how she desires to be treated. Take notes, write it down and figure out a course correction. The other great thing that will happen is your kids will pick up on this. Treat your daughter how she should be treated, teach and talk to your son about how to go about doing this! YOU CAN DO THIS! And everyone wins!
